Recently, my friend sent me this blog post about nostalgia as a coping mechanism. The blog post stated that, obviously, as we get older we encounter more experiences that result in a loss of innocence. Then, once we encounter some emotionally troubling experiences, some people turn to dugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism. But that maybe by returning to our good ol' memories, they can cope in a much healthier fashion.
I looked at this option of coping and realized that this method is purely conditional.
Condition Example 1: A family member passes away
In this condition, nostalgia seems almost perfect. Families commonly sit around at a meal and tell many funny, heart-warming stories about the deceased family member. To look back on the good of that person can help people remember them in a good light and have a bonding experience with the rest of the extended family. To fall back into the innocence of the times may help lighten the mood of such a serious event in people's lives.
Condition Example 2: A boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you
In this condition, looking back at the good times in a relationship may be harmful to your recovery from such a chain of events. My sister had a serious boyfriend for over a year and when the relationship ended, there was a good couple weeks when she would think back to certain moments they had and would analyze everything or just simply miss him in her life. With this situation, one usually needs to just move forward from the situation and looking back would only harm the progress.
Lastly, I thought about the idea that it might be unhealthy to always be thinking about your past and maybe never moving forward. I commonly look back to some great memories, but always feel sad when I realize that I have to snap out of it and still deal with some present situations. But that might just be me, who knows? Regardless, this idea is much better than turing to other coping mechanisms that won't progress the situation either.
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Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Am I really this old?
This past weekend my last homecoming of my high school career. I had my last week of dress up days, my last pep rally (where I got to speak), and my last stressful hair appointment. But, the idea of it being my last one wasn't what as on my mind the majority of the time. What I was truly thinking of, was the idea that "yes, I am senior, but do I even act and look like a senior?".
Up until I was about 10, I would have a variety of babysitters watch after us when my parents would have their festivities to attend. I don't exactly remember how old they were, but definitely older than 10. They were the prettiest girls, who had the most adventurous lives and I wanted to be just like them. Now that my friends and I are just as old as my babysitters were, are we as pretty or as adventurous or even just mature enough to be called seniors?
What I saw when I was 10 was a completely different way of life. I was still constrained by how far I could ride my bike and my freakishly early bedtime of 8pm. My babysitters had driver's licenses and the legal curfews of 12pm. So much of my childhood was looking up to people and what they seem they can do, but the older I get, the more I have realized that it was all something I had created in my head. I feel just as mature and I keep thinking I look just like I did when I was 10 years old.
Nothing really changes unless you make it change. I've learned that just by reflecting on my high school years. I used to think that I would get to that adventurous stage I saw when I was 10 but it never really just happened. I had to jump out of my comfort zone and at times be a little bit more than who I naturally am to get that "senior" feeling I wanted. As children, they might think they still have the whole work ahead of them, but sadly they might not. If they loom up to their babysitters, they're gonna have to work for what they want in life, not think it just naturally comes to you.
Up until I was about 10, I would have a variety of babysitters watch after us when my parents would have their festivities to attend. I don't exactly remember how old they were, but definitely older than 10. They were the prettiest girls, who had the most adventurous lives and I wanted to be just like them. Now that my friends and I are just as old as my babysitters were, are we as pretty or as adventurous or even just mature enough to be called seniors?
What I saw when I was 10 was a completely different way of life. I was still constrained by how far I could ride my bike and my freakishly early bedtime of 8pm. My babysitters had driver's licenses and the legal curfews of 12pm. So much of my childhood was looking up to people and what they seem they can do, but the older I get, the more I have realized that it was all something I had created in my head. I feel just as mature and I keep thinking I look just like I did when I was 10 years old.
Nothing really changes unless you make it change. I've learned that just by reflecting on my high school years. I used to think that I would get to that adventurous stage I saw when I was 10 but it never really just happened. I had to jump out of my comfort zone and at times be a little bit more than who I naturally am to get that "senior" feeling I wanted. As children, they might think they still have the whole work ahead of them, but sadly they might not. If they loom up to their babysitters, they're gonna have to work for what they want in life, not think it just naturally comes to you.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
I'm rich, I'm rich!
I recently went to a family get-together where I was hanging out with one of my younger cousins. She is 7 and actually one of the smartest children I know, but she surprised me that day. I told her I would give her a dollar if she could do some sort of trick. She did her trick and I willingly gave her that dollar bill. Right after I handed it to her, she sprinted up my basement stairs, through my kitchen, out my back door and to my aunt. I found her screaming at the top of her lungs repeating, “I’m rich, I’m rich!”
Naturally, I let out a giggle. The smartest 7yr old I’d ever met thought she was rich because she had one dollar in her hand. I dollar doesn’t even buy you things at the dollar store anymore, but she didn’t know that. My aunt made her give the dollar back to me and she was crushed. But it was just a dollar, right?
I don’t really think about money much; national economic problems, yes, but my own money ordeals, no. I frequently ask friends to go out for coffee or ice-cream, and roughly spend $5 at each place. But those little expenditures add up, and before I know it, my allowance for the month is gone in the first two weeks.
I was giggling at the idea of a dollar meaning the world to my little cousin, but maybe she hasn’t lost her genius status just yet. A dollar, to most teenagers and adults, means nothing. But is this the right way of looking at a dollar? It’s like saying that a nickel means nothing, yet I’m one of the biggest advocates of saving change. Because before you know it, all your change is actually $35. So why haven’t I, or many others, put that perspective on a dollar which is worth way more than a nickel? If I wasn’t so willing to buy that cheap chocolate bar every day, I could have a few new shirts instead of wearing old t-shirts.
Children are lucky because everything is bigger, stronger, and not tainted by society. That dollar bill was worth that same to me as it was to her, but she respected its value. The more conscious we are, like children, the more we can save. And soon, I might be screaming “I’m rich, I’m rich!”
Naturally, I let out a giggle. The smartest 7yr old I’d ever met thought she was rich because she had one dollar in her hand. I dollar doesn’t even buy you things at the dollar store anymore, but she didn’t know that. My aunt made her give the dollar back to me and she was crushed. But it was just a dollar, right?
I don’t really think about money much; national economic problems, yes, but my own money ordeals, no. I frequently ask friends to go out for coffee or ice-cream, and roughly spend $5 at each place. But those little expenditures add up, and before I know it, my allowance for the month is gone in the first two weeks.
I was giggling at the idea of a dollar meaning the world to my little cousin, but maybe she hasn’t lost her genius status just yet. A dollar, to most teenagers and adults, means nothing. But is this the right way of looking at a dollar? It’s like saying that a nickel means nothing, yet I’m one of the biggest advocates of saving change. Because before you know it, all your change is actually $35. So why haven’t I, or many others, put that perspective on a dollar which is worth way more than a nickel? If I wasn’t so willing to buy that cheap chocolate bar every day, I could have a few new shirts instead of wearing old t-shirts.
Children are lucky because everything is bigger, stronger, and not tainted by society. That dollar bill was worth that same to me as it was to her, but she respected its value. The more conscious we are, like children, the more we can save. And soon, I might be screaming “I’m rich, I’m rich!”
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