This past weekend my last homecoming of my high school career. I had my last week of dress up days, my last pep rally (where I got to speak), and my last stressful hair appointment. But, the idea of it being my last one wasn't what as on my mind the majority of the time. What I was truly thinking of, was the idea that "yes, I am senior, but do I even act and look like a senior?".
Up until I was about 10, I would have a variety of babysitters watch after us when my parents would have their festivities to attend. I don't exactly remember how old they were, but definitely older than 10. They were the prettiest girls, who had the most adventurous lives and I wanted to be just like them. Now that my friends and I are just as old as my babysitters were, are we as pretty or as adventurous or even just mature enough to be called seniors?
What I saw when I was 10 was a completely different way of life. I was still constrained by how far I could ride my bike and my freakishly early bedtime of 8pm. My babysitters had driver's licenses and the legal curfews of 12pm. So much of my childhood was looking up to people and what they seem they can do, but the older I get, the more I have realized that it was all something I had created in my head. I feel just as mature and I keep thinking I look just like I did when I was 10 years old.
Nothing really changes unless you make it change. I've learned that just by reflecting on my high school years. I used to think that I would get to that adventurous stage I saw when I was 10 but it never really just happened. I had to jump out of my comfort zone and at times be a little bit more than who I naturally am to get that "senior" feeling I wanted. As children, they might think they still have the whole work ahead of them, but sadly they might not. If they loom up to their babysitters, they're gonna have to work for what they want in life, not think it just naturally comes to you.
I remember in kindergarten when we had 5th grade reading buddies. One time we went to visit their classroom and they played games with us. Normally they would come down to our room, but this time was the first and only time the teachers decided to try moving the spazzy 6 year olds. I remember being very excited because my buddies brought me presents (so I really liked them). When I got to the upstairs classroom, I was shocked by how big everything was. You never realize it at the time, but desks actually get slightly bigger every year to accomodate the growing students. Needless to say, their desks looked monstrously large. I even thought my 5th grade buddies could drive and vote; to me, they were adults, just like your babysitters. That image and those memories are something that's stuck with me for 12 years, and I reflect on it when I feel like I'm growing up too fast.
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