Hi all! I'm Rebekah, a dear, dear friend of Mary's (maybe her only one---just kidding :)), and I'm guest blogging on her blog today! If you want to check out my blog, on film, arts and media, go . Anyways, Mary usually writes about childhood and themes related to it. It's sort of perfect, because since I'm a near graduate of high school (less than a month left I think), I've been thinking about my childhood a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. All of the things I loved in my childhood- candy, games, cool toys (anyone whose childhood was in the '90s remembers "Sock 'em Boppers"), movies and tv shows, and anything else I did in those flashbulb memories that I have- are frequently discussed and shared with my friends who are graduating as well. And all I can wonder is, where did all the time go? I don't remember things in a straight line- I don't think anyone actually does, I usually remember things in vivid flashes, scattered all across the timespan of my life. But the majority of those memories that I have from the time before I was twelve or so, (aka the ones that are the most scattery), seem incredibly bright and carefree. I always say that the 1990s in my mind is so much brighter and happier than nowadays, but I'm pretty sure that that's just me remembering my childhood that way. But, anyways, I can remember a time when my mother was the guardian of my life, and my only worries consisted of when I would get to have Chef Boyardee next or if Corey and Topanga would stay together on Boy Meets World. Over the years, I would think back to that age that I call "my childhood", (even though until recently I was technically a "child"), and sigh, praying for it to be that easy again. I would especially do that whenever anything supremely challenging was happening, like finals or a break-up or raging insecurities. God, how I would miss them, how I would wish to go backwards. I realize now how foolish and wrong I was acting. I can't go back, and I don't even think I want to. Don't get me wrong; I would love to feel that innocent again, to not know about the world (and therefore its people, its wars, and its problems) as much as I do now. But I think if I were to miraculously rewind, I would hate it. There's a lack of substance, a lack of understanding and depth that I don't think I could live without now that I've had it. I miss it, but I'm glad it's over. So, yes, I loathe and fear the idea of grovery shopping by myself and paying my own bills and constantly worrying about money, but there's something beautiful about that future that makes it, if possible, more rewarding than childhood. Now, I'm an eighteen year old with fears for the future bigger than any of Jupiter's moons. I can try to dissolve those fears by sitting around a bonfire with my friends and talking about "Spongebob" and "Wonder Balls", but I don't want those fears to dissolve completely. Right now, more than ever, I'm ready to grow up.